Sad Sad Day

Unless you are living under some kind of rock you’d probably know the whole Ahok situation and how messed up it is (in my personal opinion at least).

Now I don’t want to start a war right here in this blog. You have a brain of your own and I have mine. We can individually process things and as you have the right to conclude things, I too have that right. We all have the right to use our common sense, use our empathy and understanding, use our intellect and come up with a rational conclusion & judgement.

But for me personally, this whole thing is total bs and has idiotic self-fulfilment ego written all over it.

Point is this, the whole situation with Ahok is so depressing to me. I feel like Indonesia’s just going backwards and there’s no way but that. It’s terrible especially because this is my home. As sick and messed up as this place gets, this is still my home. I have grown accustomed to the heated streets, the irritable amount of waste scattered around this country, the wasted time spent on traffics, the always surrounded by air-con environment and of course the food. and the people in it too I guess, you can’t leave this out I suppose… I have grown accustomed to it and I train myself to look at the bright side of things here. It’s not easy to love this country, but I love it anyway because again this is home.

I have explored high and low, wide and deep across Jakarta, Surabaya, Bali, Jogja. I have been given the most painful of heartbreaks and the most sweetest of love by it. I have endured hardships and joy. I have been given confusion and light bulb moments. I have been through rough rainstorms and warm sunny beach days. And through it all this country has shaped me to be who I am today.

How could I stand watching this country crumble? How could it not break me and tear me apart? I feel heartbroken. I feel betrayed by this country I love so much. But I feel powerless.. I do not know how to turn things around, I do not know what I can contribute that could result in significant changes and actually make this place better.. I feel my place being so small and so irrelevant that I stand here heartbroken but doing nothing… Nothing at all… This makes me even more depressed at the situation..

I just hope that whatever happens next, though only the thinnest line of hope is the only thing remaining for me, that things will get better. That I can grow old and happy here. That my kids can be proud of being a part of this country we would call home.

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